The Foundation of Love: A Choice Beyond Feelings

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned in my marriage is that love is far more than just a feeling—it’s a choice. In the beginning, when emotions are high and everything feels new and exciting, it’s easy to believe that love is something that just happens. But over time, as the initial excitement fades and real life settles in, we come to understand that love is not just an emotion that we feel; it’s a decision that we make every single day.

This understanding is crucial because feelings can be fleeting. They ebb and flow with the circumstances of life, affected by stress, fatigue, disappointment, and countless other factors. If we base our commitment to our partner solely on our feelings, then our love is on shaky ground. It’s easy to say “I love you” when everything is going well, but what about when times are tough? What about when disagreements arise, or when the spark seems to have dimmed?

This is where the true foundation of love comes into play. Love, in its deepest sense, is a commitment to choose each other over and over again, regardless of how we feel in the moment. It’s a promise to stand by one another, to support and care for each other, even when things aren’t easy. It’s about making a conscious decision to love through the highs and lows, the good times and the bad.

In my marriage with Angela, there have been many moments where we had to choose to love each other, even when it was hard. We’ve faced challenges that tested our patience, our faith, and our resilience. But through it all, we made a choice—a choice to stay, to fight for our relationship, and to believe in the love that we share. This choice has been the bedrock of our marriage, giving us the strength to weather any storm and the courage to face whatever comes our way.

By understanding that love is a choice, we empower ourselves to take control of our relationships. We can choose to act with kindness, to speak with empathy, and to be there for our partners in ways that matter. We can choose to prioritize our relationship, to make time for each other, and to keep the love alive through intentional acts of care and connection.

Reflection Question: How do you view love in your relationship—as a feeling or a choice? How might choosing to love, even when it’s difficult, change the way you approach your relationship?