Dropping Our Guard: The Key to True Intimacy in Marriage

In the battle for the heart, one of the most challenging yet crucial steps is learning to drop our guard. Many of us have been hurt in the past, either by our partners or others, and as a result, we put up emotional defenses to protect ourselves. While these defenses may keep us safe from pain, they also prevent us from experiencing true intimacy and connection with our spouse.

Dropping our guard does not mean becoming vulnerable to hurt without any protection. Instead, it means choosing to trust our partner with our most authentic selves, even when it feels risky. It means being willing to share our fears, our dreams, our insecurities, and our deepest desires. It’s about allowing ourselves to be seen and known fully, without the masks or armor that we so often wear.

True intimacy is only possible when both partners are willing to drop their guards and meet each other with openness and honesty. This requires a level of emotional bravery that can be difficult to muster, especially if we have been hurt before. But the rewards of such vulnerability are immense. When we allow ourselves to be truly seen, we open the door to deeper love, greater understanding, and a more profound connection.

In my marriage with Angela, there were many times when I felt the urge to put up my defenses. Old wounds, fears of rejection, and feelings of inadequacy made it tempting to retreat behind emotional walls. But I learned that love cannot grow where there is fear, and intimacy cannot flourish where there is hiding. By choosing to drop my guard and be vulnerable with Angela, I was able to build a stronger, more resilient relationship based on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

If you find yourself struggling to be vulnerable in your marriage, remember that it is a journey. Start small, sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner in safe and manageable ways. Over time, as trust and understanding grow, you will find it easier to let down your defenses and embrace the full depth of intimacy that marriage has to offer.

Reflection Question: What fears or past experiences make it difficult for you to drop your guard in your relationship? How can you and your partner work together to create a safe space for vulnerability and openness?